Pink Kryptonite
by ZucchiniBiscuits
Summary: Pink Kryptonite is a rare and artificially modified form of Kryptonite that causes the effected Kryptonian to develope gay tendencies. In which Superboy is affected stereotypically. WARNING: MINDLESS CRACK!


**Mindless drivel. Pointless crack. I could have been more serious and turned this into a beautiful story... but then my wickedly sleep-trodden mind caught up with me :D I'm going to do an entire kryptonite series with the young justice gang... just not as racy and illogical as this one may be. ****So far, I have begun Black K, Gem K, Red K, XK, KX, and More... BRK is already posted xD**

** AND DUDE. Don't own YJ ;D**

**STEPHEN! PROCEED!**

When Superboy came into the base with his ears pierced, his hair gelled, and his nails gleaming, the entire team knew something was up.

He'd waltzed in with a self satisfied smirk and told Robin hello. Now, usually, the 13 year old acrobat would've mumbled a greeting in reply and went on his way, but there had been something about the way he'd extended the last syllable of every other word, or that the inflection in the sentence was twice as high as it should have been. So, against his every instinct, Robin curiously turned around and came face to face with something he hadn't expected... ever.

"Conner? Oh my Glob!" Robin's face positively lit up at the sight of the unusually flamboyant Kryptonian. Laughter bubbled in his adolescent throat as he took in the changes, the sound drawing the others into the room to see what the commotion was. Their faces were priceless.

"Well, hello~, Rob! Isn't today just wonderful?" Conner grinned as he flounced into their kitchen, opening the refrigerator with a little shake of his butt. His humming almost-ALMOST-drowned out the sound of Wally's uncontrollable laughter... Almost.

"Robin!" A red-faced Artemis marched over, scream-whispering into the preteen's ear, "What the hell is going on?"

"I have no idea, but I love it," The kid snickered, watching Conner giggle as he ate a potato crisp, winking in Wally's direction. The ginger turned red and coughed, chocking on his surprise. This only made Robin laugh harder, and Kaldur, M'Gann, and Artemis were trying not to explode from stress and confusion, "I have to go in there!"

Before any of his team mates could object, Robin had flipped onto the counter and grinned at Superboy, who grinned back just as enthusiastically. Rob let his chin fall into his hands as he gave the other boy a sweet smile and a hum, wondering with his eyes what the hell was going on.

"Conner, sweetheart, what are you doing?" Robin used the same voice he used when talking to the elderly. It was his Love-Me-I'm-Super-Cute voice. It seemed to work.

"I'm having a snack! Why? You want a bite?" Conner asked seductively, licking a crisp before taking a bite. Robin shuddered and giggled, fully aware of the others gawking in the doorway. The preteen brushed off the advance and smiled sweeter.

"No, maybe later. What've you been up to, Soops? Have a fun day?" Wally could see where this was going, so could Arty and Kal... unfortunately M'Gann was lost and distressed.

"What is Robin doing!" M'Gann whimpered at Kaldur, who was watching Robing and Superboy with increasing interest. He seemed peeved at being called upon at such a moment, but sighed and answered none the less.

"He's trying to figure out what's going on without being dramatic and confrontational about it, Megan."

"-and then I stopped off at this jeweler's 'cause I thought I'd get something fun for Megan to wear, and I came across this _gorgeous_ pink gem and just had to buy it!-" It was at this point Conner pulled a necklace out of his shirt collar, the gem a stunning pink color that had Robin and the girls in awe-" Anyway, I loved it so much I just HAD to keep it for myself," Conner giggled, covering his mouth, "I'm so bad!"

Robin forced back his laughter in favor of examining the gem on the other boy's neck, "This is beautiful, Conner..."

"Yeah," He popped another crisp into his mouth, letting his fingers walk up Robin's arm, "It's not the only thing..."

The young boy blushed and tried to back up, but the fridge was in the way, "Conner... St-

"Silly Robby... Lookin' so cute..."

It was at this point, after his initial shock, that Wally stepped in between the two, "Okay, whoa, back off. That's mine, Conner."

"Well, Reow!" Conner pouted, gesturing a cat's claw.

Robin slipped back into the living room while Wally and Conner had a glaring contest, and pulled up his communicator. IF he was right, then this was going to be priceless.

"Robin to Batman."

"What is it?"

"Could you... hehe, bring Superman over? It's of the utmost importance... kind of."

"I suppose... Why?"

"Oh... uhm, I just need to be sure of something- Clark isn't gay, right?"

"What? No! Why would you think-

"OkayLaterBAtmanGoodbye."

Kaldur walked over and gave him a puzzled look, so he explained, "That gem is likely to be Pink Kryptonite. I want Superman over so we could see if that's really the case, or Conner is just a big homo."

"Where would Conner get pink Kryptonite?"

"From that jeweler, wherever the heck they got it."

"Oh... so how long do you think they'll take?"

Just as M'Gann finished asking, the computer announced the arrival of the aforementioned heroes. As soon as Superman stepped into sight, Conner, who had been having a rather girly slap fight with a banged up Wally (Really, a slap fight with a Kryptonian? Idiot!), squeaked and launched himself toward the source of his DNA.

"Daddyyy~!" He yelled, jumping into his 'father's arms. Superman, though surprised, caught him, and was soon overtaken in a pink haze.

"Son! I came to love you!" The two snuggled into each other furiously, the sparkles in their eyes almost too bright for the other occupants. Robin quickly stepped in.

"Mr. Kent, what do you think of Bruce?"

The abrupt subject change startled almost everyone. Bruce was giving Robin the Bat-Glare, but was being ignored.

"What do I think of him?" Clark asked in a feminine voice.

"Yeah, like... isn't he hot? I've seen what's under the mask, and boy, does he have a face."

"Richard!"

Superman's gaze slowly floated over to Batman's mask, and the Dark Knight was thankful his mask was lined with lead. Superman hummed and leered at the Dark Hero, dropping Conner in a way that made the clone whimper in confusion. He walked over to the bat and grinned, running his fingers along the man's chin. The Young Justice stared, paralyzed with fear and confusion.

"Oh, yes, Richard. He is quite the fellow."

Bruce could only shiver as the Kryptonian snuggled closer, his face red beneath the mask.

"What do you say we take this into the other room, Bats?" Clark grinned, grabbing his friend by the cowl and dragging him away. Conner stared after for a moment before leering at Robin.

"Ohhh, Robby-Poo!"

"Hands off, Clone!"

"Let him go, flashlight!"

"Get your own Birdy, Brainless!"

"Uh, guys...?"

"SHUT UP, ROBIN!"

The effects of the pink kryptonite lasted exactly 24 hours after the source had been removed and sealed away, during which events occured that neither man nor kryptonian would speak of for as long as they both should live.

**DUDES! REVIEW, PLZIES!**

**-ZucchiniBiscuits**


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